I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
