high people should be assigned attendants
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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