Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
