Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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