I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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