Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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