Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize