I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
