she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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