I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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