You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
