He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
