I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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