dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Even my vagina gasped.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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