OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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