i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
No subtext here. People are naked.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
