he puts the penis in happiness.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
