she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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