i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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