If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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