Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize