Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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