the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just puked most of my soul out..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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