Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
