I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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