why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
