You work out of a Hotel?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize