He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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