i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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