Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
