If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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