She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
