brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
