please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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