White coat. Heels.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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