I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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