Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
