I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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