Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my poor anus
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
