Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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