Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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