How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
