she looked like the before picture.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
