every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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