i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
