walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
