How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
