saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
