I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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