the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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