My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
