it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
