I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
