listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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