Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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